As I write this blog, I have a copy of my latest book read on my desk - Choosing Civility by P.M. Forni, co-founder of the Johns Hopkins Civility Project. I was prompted to purchase the book after being more than a bit confounded as to why so many people were being so uncivil to me in recent months.

It's the nature of the practice of law to be involved in conflict. After nearly 25 years, I'm used to the free expression of different opinions and positions about cases. But, conflict does not have to be equivalent to contentiousness and uncivil behavior. Uncivil behavior from others has a way of shocking my system and ruining my good mood (if I let it).

Over the years, I've been guilty of my share of impatience and less than civil attitude (usually brought on by my own fatigue, problems and/or defensiveness when suddenly greeted with hostility or attacked by someone else is a bad mood). As the mother of a teenager soon to leave for college and as a busy lawyer, stress and impatience are sometimes my middle names. I don't like how I feel or behave when I feel stressed. I don't like the negative impact on others, whether they are strangers, clients or loved ones. So, one of my resolutions in recent years has been to work on my patience.

As I've learned to better manage my stress, my patience has increased. I'm better able to empathize and remember that the other person may just be having a bad day. It's not personal to me. Consequently, I'm better able to be civil to others regardless of my station in life at the moment. I'm happier. My child is happier (and a bit perplexed by how she can't push Mom's buttons quite so easily anymore). Hopefully, my clients are happier with me. The same for my dear friends and strangers I may never meet again.

Always consult a qualified, criminal defense attorney about the specific facts of your case.